A Missed Chance
by R. Vennington
Summary: 1&2. Short one shot. A glimpse into unseen love and the missed oppurtunity to confess it.


1+2+1. Short one shot. A short look into unseen love & a missed opportunity.

**A Missed Chance**

By: Roux V.

I knew it was him before he walked in the door. I knew his smell, how he liked his food prepared, how he liked his clothes ironed; I knew what it was like to watch him sleep from across the room.

I couldn't go an hour without thinking about him, each day apart between missions would drive me crazy, wondering when I would see him next, be able to embrace him next, just to feel him next.

"Duo?"

I longed, desired, _needed_ to see him. To make sure he was safe—well—still my Heero.

"Duo?"

"Yeah, Quatre?"

"Why don't you go to sleep now? It's three AM."

"Just a little longer, 'kay?"

He sighed. I felt apologetic. I knew he was staying up because he was worried about me, and if he was up, I knew Trowa was up as well. I felt even worse about that… they should enjoy there time together, not be staying up worrying about me.

"If they're not back by four, please promise me you'll go to your bed?"

"Promise."

It was dark, but I still saw the pity in the soft smile on his lips before he turned to return to their bedroom. Quatre could always read me so well, and it even scared me sometimes. It was like he could see right through my every jest and witty remark. Once, when I hadn't seen Heero in over a month, I felt like I was mentally drowning myself in tears, neither Trowa nor Wu Fei noticed. But Quatre, he came over and just hugged me, without a word. That act alone almost made me collapse in agony and relief.

I hear movement outside the house about forty-minutes after Quatre left. I instinctively draw my gun, but hold it loosely, because I already know it's them.

Wu Fei comes in first, duffle bag over his shoulders, greets me with a curt "Maxwell," and then heads off down the hall. Three minutes later comes in Heero as he finishes up resetting the alarm for the outside perimeter.

"Hey, Heero? How'd it go? No injuries?" I'm up off the coach as soon as he crosses the door, and offering to carry his duffle for him—he refuses—as always.

"No." He's not surprised that I'm there, I'm always there, always awake, no matter the hour, even if Quatre sends me to my room, I just go out the window and wait on the porch.

"Want something to eat? There's some food I can heat up if—"

"No."

"Okay," we enter our room and he puts his duffle on his bed. "Are you going to take a shower?" He nods. "Want me to unpack your stuff?" He shakes his head—as always. "Heero?" He looks at me, "Want to go out tomorrow? Go for a hike or something?" He looks away for a moment… a long moment for him, frowned, and then shook his head again. "'Kay."

As he starts the shower, I wonder what he's thinking about. Was the mission carried out flawlessly? Was he really uninjured? Why'd it take them so long to get back? Then: Is something bothering him? He thought a while before saying no. What was that?

By the time he was done with his shower, I had a pair of pajamas laid out for him and his sheets turned down and was laying on my bed watching him for any hint as to what he was thinking. He changed, unashamed of his nudity, and got in his bed.

Then, he looked at me, "Duo?"

"Yeah?" I wonder what he's thinking about…

"Why do you stay up?" Oh.

"Huh?"

"Why do you stay up waiting for me?"

"'Cause I'm worried about you, man. Just wanna make sure you get back alright."

"You don't stay up for the others unless you know they're injured or late."

"You're my number one partner, man! If you're in danger, I should know." That seemed like a logical enough answer for him, but he still stared at me, as if trying to see if there was something past my grin before turning away. "'Night, Heero." I hoped that would accept that as the end to that line of questioning.

But he didn't say anything, not immediately. What was he thinking? I heard his sheets rustle, and began to control my breathing patterns to feign sleep. He let out a weighted sigh. I was shocked. I wouldn't say that Heero never sighed.. but, not after not saying anything for so long. I heard his sheets rustle.

"Good night, Duo."

xx.xx.xx

I stared at his turned back. His hair was in a loose braid that fell softly onto the pillow and sheets.

I wanted to touch it.

Would he let me? Why did it feel like his answer to my question wasn't the full truth.

I wanted to see if it felt as soft as it looked…

I stood. I would do it, I could go and ask him if I could feel his hair.

I heard his breathing deepen… he was already falling asleep. Was he this relaxed? Did my presence not bother him as much as his did me? I couldn't sleep well next to him. I always wondered about what it would be like to run my fingers through his hair… Maybe even along his skin…

I sighed.

"Good night, Duo."

I laid back down. It must be just me. Just I who was affected this much by my partner. I lay facing him, longing to be nearer.

Could I smell him if I was laying next to him?

Would his warmth resonate through my body?

I turned away. _Good night, Duo.  
_


End file.
